Tuesday, March 21, 2006
New KB's Corner.
Here's an interesting story, intended to generate discussion. The National Center for Men has prepared a lawsuit, nicknamed Roe v. Wade for Men. The lawsuit was filed in US District court last Thursday on behalf of a 25year old man ordered to pay child support for a child that he and his ex-girlfriend had. He contends that she told him she was sterile and after they had unprotected sex she became pregnant. He says that since she repeatedly assured him that she would not become pregnant and she knew he didn't want a child that he should not be responsible to pay$500 a month in child support. The National Center for Men is hoping that this will start a dialogue about the right to choose for men. The details of the story are athttp://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/03/08/fatherhood.suit.ap/So...what do you think? How much choice should a man have?Should he be able to legally opt out of fatherhood? Should he be able to tell a woman she must adopt out the child or get an abortion? Should he be able to tell a woman she cannot get an abortion? How is this case so different from the hundreds of men who walk away from their obligation every day, through divorce or simply because they will not be a full time father? How many single fathers do you know?How many single mothers? It's an interesting story, with alot of potential for discussion. What about the child in this case, how would you feel if this was your father?
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9 comments:
John,
Nothing is messier than family law. Divorce with kids, or splitting up of unmarried couples with kids, is an awful thing.
Unless abuse or some other very compelling reason exists I think it's a bad idea.
Kb.
As I said when you first told me you were going to post about this, I find this to be very interesting. I have not yet had a chance to read the link you provided. I did do a little research my self when we first talked about it.
I don't think I like this idea. I do feel for the guy some what, because if what he says is true that she keeped saying she could not have a child. Then all of a sudden she gets pregnant. This lady may have some issues, and you must feel for the guy. With that being said, I believe everyone needs to step and be the best father or mother they can be to a child in any situration.
As far as the Natinal Center for men goes, I have never been a big fan of them. My question for them is this, what does a man have to chose from? The guy either can have sex and be responcible, can have sex and run, or don't have sex and you have nothing to worry about.
A guy shoule have a say in his wifes or girlfriends pregnant. He should have the right to suggest things, I however don't believe the guy has any right to say you have to have an aboration. If he did not want a kid don't have sex or use one of the many means that help not get a woman pregnat.
Again however in this case it is touch and go as she said she could not get pregnat. Maybe the guy had a right to ask or tell her to get an aboration. I don't know.
I know of one single father and one single mother. My wifes dad did a great job of raising her. Her mom left at a young age and they have had little to no contact with eachother. Her mom has had almost no contact with are little daughter and that at this time is just fine. The single mom that I know is still trying to work things out with the dad even when she should not. It is a bad deal, he just does not want to grow up. I am not sure you can at this point consider a true single mom, but truely she is. They are still together some what.
Let's have back and forth convatsion and others will join I am sure. This is a great story and one people should watch.
Erik-
You are correct family law is a mess. I think family law as a whole needs to be looked at.
Afeen the father even if a better chose for the child to live with gets screwed.
This case that KB brings up is very very interesting and people need ot follow it. I am not sure who the kid would be better or worse with.
The interesting facts around this case have got to be discussed. She told this guy that she could not get pregnat yet she did. Was this an attemp by her to get this guy to marry her? I don't know, many may thing so.
Two words: Abstinence Education.
http://acgreen.com/default.aspx?sectionid=2456&pageid=4440
Imagine how many of these issues would be rendered moot if people learned to exercise a little self control.
Brad- You are correct. It however seems that most people can't or don't want to use self control.
I think most know what can happen when you have sex, but chose not think about at the time. All they care about is getting some.
Before this converstation goes places we may not want it too. I believe this case is a bit diffrent. The fact that she is telling some she can't get pregnat leave alot to be determanted. What was this gals modive?
All and all I will agree with your point in most cases abstinence is key. Again I hear education all the time, but I believe people know what can happen but at the time they don't care.
I'm not so sure that her motives are to be questioned here. In my personal case, I was believed to be unable to have children, or possibly it would take a lot of work to have children. Well, at 40 with 20 years of being with the same man, I became unexpectedly pregnant. Now, for us it was a happy occurrence, but I can see somewhat how a woman might become convinced that she's not going to concieve. I have also heard other versions of this story where the man says that the woman was also claiming to be using a contraceptive. I guess if I was a guy, and a woman told me she was sterile, AND was taking birth control...I'd be suspicious. One point this argument brings to light is that each partner should take control of the situation and if YOU don't want to have an unwanted pregnancy come from the sex act...then YOU should protect YOURSELF. Finally, I think that the courts will rule in favor of the child, and that this jerk should be ashamed of the fact that he's trying to take something away from that child, whether he wanted that child or not...he made it.
This CNN story is a classic example of how abstinence for NON-MARRIED people just makes sense. Part of the problem in our society is that we do live for the moment with no consideration for the long-term consequences.
Think of how many “unwanted” pregnancies would be significantly reduced if sex was reserved for the sanctity of marriage. That may seem like the ultimate “rose-colored glasses” perspective but I always point to former NBA player AC Green. He resisted the constant temptations thrown at a pro basketball player, and stayed chaste until his marriage at 38 years of age! Think about that!! Green played pro ball for SIXTEEN years and did not succumb to the indulgences of life as an NBA player (see Kobe Bryant, Shawn Kemp, etc.).
Given that, what’s the excuse for regular guys who don’t exactly have women throwing themselves at their feet?
Kb-
You are right, boy I find my self agreeing with everyone in at least one point. Anyway you are right, I don't believe her motives should be challanged her either. I brought up as a topic of converstation.
Is it possible this girl wanted to minipulate him into thinking she could not get pregnat, YES. I however don't believe that was her intent. Are there people that do this sure there is.
I also agree that if this guy did not want kids then he should not have had sex, this is were brad's points come into play.
You say you believe the court will rule infavor of the child. You must mean that this guys should pay right? Now if that is what you mean, I agree. Unless one of the points in my post do become true. If this woman was just saying this and see new all along that she could get pregnat then I think things change some what. Again I don't believe this will be the case.
This is a great topic, everyone lets keep talking about. Maybe KB will keep us updated on were the case is as well.
Brad-
Here again I agree, way to many people don't care or don't think of the long term, and that a child could come with the act of sex.
Maybe it is not that fact that people aren't educated about abstinence, maybe it is the way we educate. I don't know.
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